Solo Traveling and ALL. THE. QUESTIONS.

Less than a week ago, I took off for my first international solo adventure–first adventure really–in more than 18 months–to the Turks and Caicos. This whole trip was prompted by a few things but of greatest importance was my own mental health and well being and realizing earlier this summer that I wasn’t ok as I thought I was. While I had checked all of the work and parental responsibility boxes, truth is, I was struggling. I actually wanted, and really needed, to get away, solo. 

I have been without a “person” for a decade. I get asked by several well meaning friends if I am lonely or if I would rather wait to do travel, dining out, etc., until I find “my person”. I’ve thought about this a lot, and the truth is, why wait? Clearly, “my person” isn’t going to materialize any time soon, and I don’t think it is a reason I should just sit around and not do the things that I really want to do. I also believe there’s a little bit of stigma associated with being single, solo, alone, party of one, you name it. But, I don’t think that’s a fair characterization of being solo. First, we certainly can’t claim to know everyone’s story, and we certainly can’t say we’ve been in another person’s situation. So, my thinking is, if I want to go to the Caribbean on a solo trip, why the heck not? 

Here’s the thing: I’m not even back yet and I am looking at this as one of my best trips ever. I got to do ALL THE THINGS I wanted to do–scuba diving with @diveprovo, a fabulous ecotour with @BigBlueCollective, I paddleboarded, I read books, and I slept when I wanted to, and I ate what I wanted to. That last part is huge. My schedule was based on what I wanted to do and not based on what would makes others most happy. 

I’m not knocking family trips at all because I do enjoy traveling with my daughters but there’s something to be said for not having to worry about making sure everyone else is having a good experience, happy, and eating what they want to eat. No one has ever really thought to ask if we were doing what I wanted to do. So, this trip was all about that! With that being said, I do think it is hard, for us moms out there especially, to allow ourselves the freedom to do things, like travel, without feeling guilty. I’m not going to lie…I felt work guilt on most days (but I did have an auto-reply set up on my email). It’s hard to completely step away without some thought of what I am getting behind on and who I am not responding to. All of this is why I actually needed to get away. It’s so easy to get sucked in and feel like I have to be everything to everyone, but at times, I just need to be everything to myself. Let me say that again in another way: we have to give ourselves grace, which means sometimes making decisions that prioritize our own health and well-being first. 

Here’s my other take-away: Solo travel is definitely underrated. I get it…sitting at a restaurant alone may not seem ideal, but let’s be real about this: how many times have you gone to a restaurant where everyone at the table was on their respective phones? Aren’t you basically eating alone anyways?  But the truth is, the people who have been in my life for the last decade–daughters, friends–don’t necessarily want to do what to do what I want to do. So, any trip devolves into my trying to plan the day–activities, eating, sleeping, etc.,–around what everyone else wants to do. 

I have no regrets, and if we can find our way out of this COVID-19 pandemic, I’ll do it again. I have learned many things from the last year, but most importantly, I learned (or maybe re-learned) the importance of having joy in my life. Joy can come in the small things and the big things, but I am now being intentional about making sure I do things that bring me joy each day. This trip to the Turks and Caicos was all about that–from reading (somewhat) trashy books while lying on a beach chair with an orange basil mojito on hand to paddle boarding across the turquoise waters of Grace Bay to kayaking through the mangroves and seeing the sea turtles. 

While these things will sound cliche, they are worth saying: 

    1. Do what brings you joy;

2. It is not selfish to do something for yourself;

3. It’s not as scary as it may seem to travel solo;

4. Time, ultimately, is short. Make the most of it. 

Take aways and recommendations: 

Lodging: for a condo-like stay complete with a kitchen and balcony, check out Royal West Indies Resort (https://royalwestindies.com/).  The water-based activities (kayak, padde board, snorkeling equipment) were onsite and free, the onsite restaurant and bar (Pelican Restaurant) were great; and the rooms are huge! 

Getting around: This hotel was just under a mile to the “main” strip of Grace Bay where the shops, restaurants and bars are. It is walkable for sure. But, if you want to go anywhere else and not have to pay for transportation, consider renting a car. However, the Turks & Caicos are a British territory so driving on the left is standard. 

Things to do: So many to list here, but my favorites: Big Blue Collective–everything from kite boarding, to kayaking, to paddleboarding, to diving. This is truly an eco-friendly operation and the staff is amazing. (https://bigbluecollective.com/)

Dive Provo: Dive Provo handles all of your diving needs, including certifications, refresher courses, one tank dives, two tank dives, to multi day experiences. This group was incredibly knowledgeable, helpful, resourceful, and friendly. (https://www.diveprovo.com/)